Play It Again
by ciTohCysP
Summary: A look at the director in his final moments when he is confronted by Carolina and Epsilon. s10e22 (WARNING: Major spoilers, cursing, and suicide.)


**Disclaimer: I do not own Red vs Blue. I know, shocking right?**

"Speaking"

'Thoughts'

**Authors Notes**

In a dark, secluded room somewhere in the Freelancer offsite storage facility, there was an old man with greying black hair and black framed rectangular glasses. His forehead creased with lines of stress and worry. He sat slumped in a cold grey chair and stared intently at a giant screen that hung on the wall in front of him as a short clip played over and over, the gentle glowing of the screen being the only source of light in the desolate room.

"Beginning playback," F.I.L.S.S. said in her usual mechanical voice.

On screen, the video file restarted, "Leonard, come on, stop it. Put that thing down. You're gonna make me late! They're waiting for me… Leonard." A beautiful strawberry blonde woman stood peering through the screen, dressed completely in army regulation camouflage, a full duffel bag leaning against the wall in the background.

"Hello Director," Carolina addressed him formally as she entered the dark room quietly.

"Hello agent Carolina," His back was to her but he didn't take his eyes off the screen as he replied with equal formalities, "Would you like to watch this file with me?"

"No," she said curtly, watching him from the back left corner of the room.

His posture lacked any trace of his usual rigid composure and he leaned wearily for support against the chair's frame. He didn't look like the Director, he seemed like a different man altogether. Carolina could hardly even recognize the man she had known and looked up to her entire life.

"Play it again F.I.L.S.S." The command was meant to sound demanding, but his voice lacked the edge it always held. Now he just sounded… tired.

"Director?" F.I.L.S.S. asked, her feminine voice laced heavily with concern.

"Again!" He slammed his fist against the cool metal table and a dull thud sounded, empathising his demand like a petulant child.

F.I.L.S.S. complied without further comment, restarting the short video clip for quite possibly the trillionth time since she had known him.

"So, this is what you've become," Carolina spoke, relentless sadness and grief evident in her tone.

" I just need to watch this…" he said with a dreary quality, then his voice steeling, "I think I have a way… A way to bring her back right this time."

"The authorities are hunting you now," Carolina interrupted him in an informative voice, "If I found you, they will too."

"I just need a bit more time!" he said quietly, lacking any energy to give a harsh response.

The Epsilon AI fragment flashed to life beside Carolina, floating quickly and angrily over to the Director. His temper flared dramatically as he was consumed with a blinding rage at meeting the man who had tortured him and his friends for so long.

"_No_! You've had your fucking time!" He fumed, his small cobalt projection holding the 99D-S2 sniper rifle like always. "You have to answer for what you did."

"To the Meta, to Washington, to Carolina, to _me_," he seethed in anger, his rage not subsiding in the least, "_and_ to her! To _Texas_!"

"Hello Epsilon," he said in low tones, unphased by his creations outburst, "You came all this way just to see me?"

He glowered at his assumption. "I'm here to remember what you've done, somebody has to."

"Church…" Carolina said with pain in her voice, taking a step towards the Director and the AI fragment.

"Not all of us got off scot-free Carolina." It was clear all this was paining the aqua freelancer deeply but Epsilon ignored her as he continued on his rant, "He was-"

Suddenly, the familiar gunmetal blue figure was replaced with the green projection of Delta who continued the sentence flawlessly, "Brilliant, and we-"

This time, the bright red and blue colorings of Theta appeared accompanied by the background noise of fireworks going off, "Trusted him! But-"

The Gamma AI fragment was the next to take over, stuttering slightly in his anger, "He lied t-t-to us, he twisted-"

Omega, once his worst enemy, flashed into being to continue the rave, his voice lashing out bitterly, "and tortured us! And used us!"

"Manipulated us for his own purposes! A-and for _what_! For this? This… _Shadow_!" Sigma's deep echoing voice yelled in a complete whirlwind of fury.

Slowly the flames faded and the regular Alpha representation of Epsilon returned, holding back on another outburst he hissed out, "he needs to pay."

Out of habit, the Director made a mental note to try and study how the Epsilon's fluctuations in mood could alter his chosen appearance. Then as what he had said sunk in, the Director hastily erased the note. 'I will not have the time to perform any more experiments regardless.'

Everyone was silent for a moment, the quiet video file the only noise daring to soften the harsh silence. "Leonard, come on, I have to go."

Carolina reached up and pulled off her helmet with one arm, letting her deep scarlet hair, which was pulled back into its usual ponytail tumble down like a crimson waterfall. Her harsh green eyes shone in anger, but mostly sadness and even pity.

With an exhausted hand, the Director pulled off his glasses and slowly looked up, meeting Carolina's green eyes with his own. His drained eyes told the whole story, the story of a beaten man who just couldn't figure out how to let go. And now, just wishing he could take back everything, every word, every action, undo all the pain and sadness he had caused everyone close to him in attempts to make everything right again. If he could go back and fix it all. Restart. _Just have a little more time_.

"Don't make me hurt you," the kind voice said jokingly from the speakers, "And dont worry, you'll see me again."

But he of all people knew now that you can't. You don't get any second chances. Once something is gone, you _never _get it back. No matter how much you try, or plead, or work to make everything alright, you can only keep moving forward and wour your way up from there.

Carolina tried to hold a glare, a straight faced look of disgust at what the once great man had become, what he'd fallen to. But she couldn't. Her eyes flickered downwards, unable to meet his. She quickly looked back up but her expression softened. There was no way she could hate him. She couldn't bring herself to look down on him. He was so wrapped up in his work and trying to make things right, that he didn't realize he was only making them worse.

She leaned down and kissed him lightly on the forehead as the file continued to loop in the background.

"Ready?" The digital Allison asked.

"Just a bit more time…" He said with an air of finality about it.

"Come on Church," Carolina ordered in her no nonsense tone. "We're leaving."

"I thought we came all this way... To _kill him_," Epsilon choked out at her sudden switch of attitude.

"Church, remember what you learned in the memory unit?" she asked him, her voice wavering. "You need to let go."

She continued somberly, "your past doesn't define who you are… It just gives you the starting point for who you're going to be."

'Ah, but my dear Carolina,' the Director thought to himself mournfully, 'my misdeeds are _truly _unforgivable, there is no future in this world for a man trapped in the past. I'm afraid this is where my story ends, I'm on the final chapter.'

"Agent Carolina?" he stopped her, holding out his hand to block her way.

"Yes Director?" she replied, still using comforting formalities.

"Would you be so kind... as to leave me your pistol?""

If she was at all shocked by the Directors implied intentions she showed no signs as she blank facedly unholstered her Magnum and placed it gently on the table beside the Director.

"Thank you Carolina."

"Goodbye, sir."

Without another word Carolina retreated from the room, leaving the Director alone with Epsilon. He listened to her retreating footsteps as they left, going farther and farther away until they became to quiet to hear.

"You were my greatest creation," he said once she had gone completely.

"I don't know what I am. But I do know this, I'm _more _than just a copy of you," Epsilon said, his voice shaking from the force behind his words. "I'm better than you."

"I wasn't speaking to you."

Epsilon left with a quiet _swish _to follow after Carolina, leaving the Director in the dark room. He noticed somewhere in the time they were talking the clip had ended.

"Play it again F.I.L.S.S.," he said, his voice almost a whisper.

"Beginning playback," she complied.

"Thank you F.I.L.S.S.."He didn't need even a moment to think about what he was about to do. "Now I would like you to erase all our files, except for this one."

"_All_ our files? Does that include… Me Director?" her voice seemed curiously hurt, almost disappointed.

"It has been a pleasure working with you F.I.L.S.S., I am sorry," he said, truly meaning every word.

"And you as well Director," she responded in kind, her voice quiet and solemn.

Just as F.I.L.S.S. was about to begin the deletion process the Director spoke up, "And before you do… Please shut down all the facility systems as well. Take everything offline."

"Director, this is a sealed facility. If I shut down all the systems, life support would not-"

"Thank you F.I.L.S.S.," he said, for the first time speaking to his partner as a person, not just a program. "Shut them all down. Lock me in."

"Alright," she said, her tone heavy with grief.

There was a moment of silence as the Director mulled over in his mind what he was about to do, but now his mind was made up and now no one could convince him otherwise.

"Was the project a success?" came the unexpected question from the detached female voice as her complex system and coding was carefully deleted. She had only about five minutes left at most. "Did you find what you were looking for?"

"No. No I did not," he answered without hesitation, "but I believe I might have come very close. I wish… I wish I knew."

"I see…" F.I.L.S.S. managed to say.

"And don't worry, you'll see me again," the recording of Allison repeated.

"Perhaps the next time around," the Director said as he reached for Carolina's pistol, the metal cold against his hand.

"It has been an honor, sir."

He flipped the Magnum around in his worn hands, studying the scratches and dents from countless battles. He knew he was simply buying time until F.I.L.S.S's programing was completely removed. He didn't want her to see this.

"Dont say goodbye, I hate goodbyes." The words of Allison were marked by the closing of the giant door behind the Director, sealing him inside the dark room.

He pressed the barrel to the soft flesh at the bottom of his jaw, just beside his throat. The metal biting into his skin.

Somewhere in the distance he could see the ghostly figure of Allison, waiting for him. Not Tex, not a shadow, Allison. He could hear her calling to him. Not the voice that rang out mechanically over the speakers, her actual voice. She was waiting, waiting to guide him through the afterlife. He closed his eyes and drank in her presence.

"I _never _said goodbye," he whispered as he pulled the trigger with his last ounce of strength, not shedding a single tear.

A white light consumed him in a flash and then the world went dark as everything faded into pitch black.

**Funny story, my first time watching season 10 I had no idea there was an episode 22 so I skipped right to season 11 and I had no idea what the fuck was going on (But that's pretty much normal for RvB) So then when my friend who I finally got into the series starts chatting about the scene where the Director dies and I'm just sitting there like "...Wait, what?" So then we watched the episode together and I cried my eyes out and I just HAD to write this because if I didn't I would explode from Director feelz. So yeah!**

**Also, everyone say hi to my new beta, TheSupernova! She has a FanFiction account as well as a Wattpad account so go check her out!**


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